This might turn out to be the best blog I have ever written, and I still don't think it will possibly capture the past 48 hours. It's going to be long, but highly entertaining. Buckle up your seat belts, ladies and gentleman. We're going in.
Para empezar, Friday was my last day of teaching. It was surprisingly less difficult that I imagined it to be, but nonetheless sad indeed. I said goodbye to all of my students, and bid farewell to the routine that I have come to know oh-so-well at the Academy. It didn't actually feel like a permanent goodbye, but I think that is because I know I will visit there at least a few times this week to see people and say goodbye to students in all of my other classes. Nonetheless, I am going to miss that job. Teaching is most definitely something I have a passion for, but I'm just not sure if my calling in life is doing what I did all summer. We'll find out, I suppose.
Friday night: Going out with Andre and Chero is always a crazy plan. However, I was feeling like walking on the wild side and went out with these two hoodlums. We began at a bar called EXIT, but found that not only do police raid bars in the US, but also in Guatemala. It seems like somewhat of a paradox, however. Since the police are so corrupt here, they usually raid the bars to plant something in them to fine the bar (drugs, illegal anythings) to make money. Interesting thought, huh? This is what I have been told. It may or may not be true, but I trust my sources, and wouldn't put it past the police to do things like that in Guate. They also look for minors, but are much less interested in that than looking under all the couches and turning on all the lights in the bar and spoiling the fun for 2 hours. It's basically ridiculous. Aaaanyway. We then went to Tonic, another dance club I've been to a few times, and enjoyed one or two too many glasses of vodka, mineral water, sprite and lime. Seems like a strange combo, but has quickly become my favorite beverage here. I was feeling good, to say the least, and we left the bar at 1:00 AM (barclose) and went back to Andre's. I slept on the couch until Diego (Bunny, or Conejo as they affectionately call him here due to his larger than average ear size) came to pick me up to sleep at his house before we were to head to Semuc Champey in the morning.

6:45 AM Saturday: Yikes. Note to self: no more going out with a couple guys with the "Christmas Spirit." I'll explain that phrase to anyone who is curious to know. Diego's (wonderful) dad drove us to the bus station, and we bought our tickets. Diego and I began to chit-chat in the waiting room. Our bus was to leave at 8:15. Around about 8:30, I noticed there weren't very many people sitting in the waiting room anymore, but they hadn't announced the 8:15 bus to Coban yet. Diego asked the woman behind us if she was going to Coban, and when she told us she wasn't, we noticed that a large bus was leaving the parking lot. Shit. That's our bus.
RUUUNN!! And we did. And we made it. And another note to self: they don't announce when the bus is leaving in Guatemala. You just have to be smart enough to figure it out. Too bad I am lagging so far behind in that 'smart' department. The bus ride was a little uncomfortable, to say the least, and my butt has never gotten numb so many times in a row in the entirety of my life. We stopped (thank God) about halfway to pee and eat a little something. We had 'queso con fresas' ice cream from Sarita, and it was incredible. Pretty much the Spanish equivalent to strawberry cheesecake, I think. Oooo-eee it was delicious. We continued on our journey to Coban, laughing our heads off at the billions of stupid things were were saying and listening to my ipod. Then, we finally made it to Coban. Great. Halfway.
Coban to Lanquin: Minibus to Lanquin, por favor. Si, con mucho gusto. We took a small shuttle to Lanquin, which was really nothin special, you know, the typical jam packed van with a few gringos and chapines. It's funny, because Diego looks a little gringo when you first look at him. But when he was next to me, I made him look like a gringo for sure. He was battling off the precios extranjeros for the whole trip. I found it to be quite entertaining. He, however, might have felt a little robbed of his identity. So then, we arrived in Lanquin.
Lanquin. What a pretty little town. But, does this town have something I forgot to pack? Once a month, a little something happens to us women. If you all haven't been informed, usually there are other little somethings you need to help you out with this little pain in the ass, and those little somethings were little somethings I didn't know how to ask for in Spanish. After about a mountain of asking ridiculously awkward questions to the little store clerks, I figured out all you have to do is say Kotex, and they know what you want. Hmm. Never thought that situation was going to happen in Guatemala. But, when in Guatemala.. right? Then, as we were walking down the street, the packs of teenage boys snickering and hooting at me just put the icing on the cake. Oh Guatemala, how I love you. Okay, but there's still one more bus to Semuc. Well, wait. Let's take a pickup truck. "Really? We can ride in the back? Cool! I've never done the before. What? We can stand while riding in the back of a pickup truck? This is like a dream come true." I literally felt like I was on top of the world in that pickup truck.

We flew (or drove, but felt like flying) down the road to Semuc, and it was the definition of glorious. The landscape is absolutely indescribable. The mountains, the trees, the river, the birds, the smell of the air, the native people walking along the way, it was perfect. We arrived to Las Marias Hostel, and were pleasantly surprised. It was a nice little place with about 5 cabins and 3 or so beds in each cabin. When we arrived, we were asked if we would like to go on a Cave expedition, and thanks to Mike, I knew this was a good idea. I jumped at the opportunity, and we booked it for the caves, as we were running about an hour late from the actual starting time.
Ho-ly COW. I truly can't describe what I saw and felt in those caves, but I will do my best. We were given a candle and told to follow Mauricio, and so we did. Going into a completely pitch black cave with water up to your stomach and a single candle in your hand is something I never dreamed I would do. But there I was, swimming in a black cave, in black water, depending on this wimpy, probably unreliable source of light, following a guide into blackness like I have never seen before. Meh, no sweat. "Aqui hay que nadar un poco.." wait.. what? Really? Okay, yeah. I'll just start swimming through that pitch black water in a pitch black cave and hold on to my candle. Again, no sweat. However, as soon as I realized how absolutely incredible the cave was, I didn't feel the nerves I felt before. I was swimming/walking/trying not to cut my legs open on sharp rocks I couldn't see in the middle of a cave in Semuc Champey, I guess life could be worse. We climbed onto a rock and jumped 2 meters into a lagoon(ish) area, climbed up seriously questionable ladders into gushing rapids of water, and went down a rock ledge into a hole with water rushing through it gasping for air and hoping you landed somewhere wet and not rocky. I got a little banged up, but it was just about the most incredible thing I have ever seen in my life. Or, not seen, rather. But experienced. Words really can't describe it.
As soon as we got out of the cave, we moved on to the tubing down the river. But this river was not just any river, more like a rapid-like, fast moving river that could easily gobble you up in one bite. But, come on guys, let's jump off the 7 meter bridge into the water, then ride it down to our hostel's shore. Okay. When in Guatemala.. don't think about rules or consequences. If I have learned anything while traveling here, it is probably "just do it." So, I did it. And I was scared shitless, and I have never been so happy I did something in my whole life. It was a rush I have never felt before. And I surprisingly made it out alive. Mom and dad, I'm sorry about endangering my life so many times in about 2 hours. But believe me, it was worth it.
We then went back to the room and got changed for dinner. There is a dining area and reception area detached from all the cabins, and that was where we ate dinner and mingled with some Norwegians, Italians, and of course, the other gringos there to see Semuc. We talked about all kinds of things, travels, customs, Guatemalan experiences, everything. It was cool to see the Norwegian girl, because she totally looks like Ailey. Only shorter and less beautiful, but it made my miss my little sissy. Can't wait to see you, Ails.
6:00AM (Sunday): Wake up. Or at least, slowly wake up. Granola bar, and hit the road to walk the 10 minutes to Semuc Champey. I was jumping for joy. We walked into the park, and I was absolutely speechless. The pools of water, the waterfalls, the forests, the birds and butterflies, it was amazing. Again, I can't describe what I saw in words, because it was essentially unlike anything I've ever seen before and thus am completely unable to describe it. But, it was beautiful. See my pictures for more info. We began to climb up to the Mirador, but were unpleasantly surprised when we had to hike 'Pacaya style' to get up there. However, valio la pena, because the view from way up on top of the mountain was absolutely stunning. We could see all of the falls, the pools, the trees, everything. And since we got there so early, nobody was there yet, so it felt like we were the only people in the whole park. Yeah baby.

1:00PM: Time to go. We needed to get back to Coban to catch the 4:00 bus to Guate becuase Diego had to work. Sounds good. A large truck drove by us around 1:30, and we flagged him down. It was like a scene right out of a movie, hopping into a moving truck (a large truck, the size between a pickup and a semi), and holding on for dear life. On that ride back, we met two backpackers from England and France, and chatted with them all the way to Coban. Err, wait. Not Coban. That's where they said we were going. It was somewhere near it, but not quite Coban. Uhhh.. guys? What do we do now? Oh yeah, that's right. We walk until we figure out how get there. We found a schoolbus traveling to Coban for 3 Q's and took it. That's right. We took a ride on the magic school bus.
Arrival in Coban was a little strange. Strange only because the same thing happened to us as the beginning, only this time we didn't get the bus to stop and pick us up. It just straight up left us. HA! Great. It's okay, I'm sure there are more buses leaving tonight. ...NOT! how does 2AM sound? Looks like we're gonna be here for a while, ladies and gents. The English and French guys stayed with Diego and I for a while, but we soon spilt due to conflicting interests. They were really cool people, but we split off and walked around the city solo. Coban was really interesting. It is surrounded by beautiful mountains, and has a feel similar to Zone 1 in Guate, mixed with a little bit of the Antigua landscape and busy Guate lifestyle. We bought 3 for 15Q tacos and some frijoles and french bread, and climbed up on top of the monument in the Central Park and ate dinner and talked for a while. Later, we were joined by some random El Salvadorian friends, who were convinced that despite the fact that I told them to speak more slowly to me because their accent was different and difficult for me to understand, I could understand everything they were saying and could give feedback. Too bad that blew up in his face when he said, "Y tu, que me cuentas?" Uhh.. cuentas about what? My life, your story, I'm sorry, no entiendo. That really makes you feel awesome when someone is telling you a very serious story about his life, the military, why he doesn't drink or smoke, etc., and when he asks you what you think you can only say.. uhh sorry, one more time? Sometimes I hate the fact that I don't speak perfect Spanish, and this was one of those times. But the conversation recovered and we talked about languages and how difficult they are to learn and teach, which was something I was very familiar with talking about, so I survived that convo without a dent. I was on fire.

Around 11, we didn't exactly know what to do for 3 more hours. We wandered the streets of Coban like backpackers, drinking beer and looking like two gringo bums. We watched stray dogs, and the hilarious drunken affection of a group or men in the square, who were so drunk they had to hug each other to keep standing. It was a night I'll never forget.
The bus came at 2AM, and we boarded. It was nicer than the first bus, and 15Q cheaper. So we were happy as could be, and snuggled up for the last 4 hours back to Guate for the real world to set in. Well, for Diego at least. I still have 4 days without work, and in those 4 days there will be no mention of the real world until I get into the airport. Orale, amigos. Cuatro dias mas.
